This is the piece that I mentioned in the addendum to the
previous post. I don’t think I stepped on many toes so I will post it. The save
data says this was last saved near midnight on Jan 2nd, which
indicates that the previous post was probably written in December of last year.
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This is not the resolution I mentioned. It is still on
the computer at the studio. But this is along the same line of thought.
Well, it is simple—work more on my own photography and
less on trying to straighten out the world of amateur photography. It’s pretty
much a backward step from where I have fruitlessly been heading but I have
taken a couple of those in the past year and they haven’t been so bad so I’m
hoping this one won’t be either.
As many know I am a huge fan of self-portraits. Many
years ago I purchased a book of strictly self-portraits. Don’t know where it is
now but I miss it. Anyway, there was a photograph in the book that stuck in my
mind. The photo was a fairly ordinary unposed family snapshot. Just family
members standing together for an informal photograph. There was a young man
near the back of the group that was the ‘self’ of the self-portrait. He was
cutting up in a way that today might be referred to as a ‘photo bomb.’ I loved
the photograph. It was honest, it was family as I think family should
be—individuals bound together within the frame of a photograph. [where else
would my world exist?] But mostly I loved the title he had given the
photograph, “What Makes Me Think That I Am the Center of the Universe?” I am
assuming that you can guess why the title stuck in my mind. Anyway, I think it
is time to revisit my teeny tiny universe.
It is going to be difficult. This morning as I went out
to breakfast I grabbed Perception and Photography to keep me company. It is
about Gestalt psychology and how it applies to photography. Gestalt psychology
is a study of how we perceive visually. On every page there was something that
I wanted to share, wanted to make other photographers aware of because to me it
seemed important to try to understand. After I finished eating I sit for over
an hour reading, lost in ideas. Okay, I have been trying to understand the
connection myself for several years. I get the gist of the idea but the depth
is a lot like Stieglitz—beyond my powers of understanding—okay I’ll admit it,
probably well beyond my limited intellectual capacity to fully grasp. But I
think it is important to continue to try. My mind reeled with thoughts of
articles, thoughts of PowerPoint presentations—working out in my mind how best
to pass on the information in the book, where to find illustrations that would
best convey the concepts.
Actually I am starting the year in pretty much an
anti-photography mood. I am very tired of taking photographs that I really
don’t want to take and not taking photographs that I do want to take. Still how
to get to where I want to go eludes my best efforts and when that realization
hits I always feel like giving up photography entirely. Haven’t posted many
photographs lately because I haven’t taken many. I have got to find a way to
move forward in a direction that I desperately need to go yet I have no idea
what or where that is or how to do it. I don’t wish to alienate friends but my
photography is suffering and I have got to find another path because this one
ain’t working and I have got so very little time left to make a correction.
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Well, it is halfway through the year and I am nowhere nearer
making the connection. I did write out a few scenarios, shared one with Alcy
trying to read her response but failing even at that.
Over the years there have been hundreds, maybe thousands of
scenarios that made it no farther than the scrap of paper or computer file—or
maybe just tumbling around inside my head. Most were lost with dead computers
or drives—some were actually acted on and turned up as portfolios. A few still
follow that path.
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