Thursday, December 16, 2010

Today's Rant

I am so tired of cute portrait photographs. I dearly love Photovisions DVD’s but I have been looking at promo videos of the upcoming series and they make me sick at my stomach.

Please, someone tell me why parents think that photographs of their new born wearing a Micky Mouse cap is cute! Or stuffed in flower pots, on fake snow, hanging in knitted baskets. Sure if your kid is so bloomen ugly that they scare the dowaddly out of normal people go for it. Use everything you can to distract the viewer—dude’em up in Mickey Mouse ears and Santa Clause hats and tutus or butterfly wings. But if you kid is really cute they could handle the photograph on their own. Jeeze what are these kids going to think when they get twenty and mama drags out the photo album to reminisce? Cause for emancipation? You bet!

That is only one my many rants. Take photographs of senior girls, most look like advertisements for some whore house in Nevada. Are all girls tarts? Okay, so maybe most will sleep with anyone with chin hair but do they have to advertise it. The latest Photovision senior girl shoot includes crotch shots wearing a corset more revealing than Jane Russell’s in the French Line, black lingerie (not only that there is the thumb pulling down the panties down shot) and the infamous butt in the air shot for those with anal confusion. Haven’t seen any senior boy promos, but at least the last I saw they were still wearing clothing but I suspect the Speedos and tidy whites are not far away—or worse. The worst part of this is that they have photographed the mothers accompanying the girls that went over and slipped the tops down to reveal more cleavage—I suspect she didn’t get as much as she wanted as a teenager and is living vicariously through her daughter. Probably the only thing she’s got going for her in the bedroom now days.

So people, unless your kids are damn ugly or your daughter is truly a tart why don’t you just take a 2x4 and whack any photographer that suggest such atrocities upside the head. I mean, the kids or the daughters are not there alone. Yeah, I know, you like the photos, you think they are cute—I won’t mention what I think of the sicko parents of senior girls.

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